As I get older, I often hear people talk about their heartbreaks, their career crisis, and even their personal problems. One thing that is less talked about is the pain of losing the people that we talk these things about with. It’s the bitter reality that sometimes, we have to let go of the people who were once special to us.
We thought that we’d be there supporting each other’s journey. Maybe for the time being, losing the friendship is a form of support.
1. Priorities for Each Phase
Life becomes more demanding making our priorities change as we journey in this life. The frequent phone calls, unplanned hangouts, and late-night conversations eventually became a distant memory. This doesn’t mean though that the friendship wasn’t valuable; it’s simply a reality of our adulthood.
The phases of our lives can create distance, but it doesn’t erase the friendship that is there.
2. Grow Separately
As we evolve, our interests, values, and priorities can change.
Sometimes, our friends may not agree with the person that we’re becoming.
Eventually, this may lead to a disconnect with them. Again, it’s a reality of life that we need to live with. This type of loss can be particularly painful because it’s not about lack of effort or external circumstances—it’s about an internal shift in who we are. And who they are.
3. Recognition of Toxicity
Let’s face it, friendships are lost because they become toxic. As we become more self-aware in adulthood, we begin to recognize that some friendships are no longer healthy. They’re not worth holding on to. Despite the history you share, the friendship is doing more harm than good.
Distinguishing a toxic friendship and letting go of it can be hard, but liberating.
This loss, though painful, can lead to personal growth and building healthier relationships in the future.
4. The Struggle of Letting Go
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting the good times or disregarding the friendship. It means acknowledging that the relationship has run its course. Ever heard of “seasonal friendship”? Maybe their season in our lives is over. In letting go, we permit ourselves to move forward. This time, it’s a better version of us because we learn from the friends we let go.
The process can be slow and filled with mixed emotions, but it’s an important step toward healing.
5. Embracing New Beginnings
While losing friends in adulthood can feel like an ending, it also opens the door to new beginnings. As we grow and evolve, we’ll meet new people who align with the person we’re becoming. These new friendships may be different from those of our past, but they can be just as meaningful.
Embracing new friendships doesn’t mean replacing the past but rather adding new layers to our life’s story.
Losing friends in adulthood is a bitter pill to swallow. It’s okay to mourn the loss of friendships, but also celebrate the growth that comes from it. The people who come into our lives at different stages each bring something unique, shaping the person we are today.
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